Never mind the not posting!

Ha- weeks of no new posts, I post that I am not posting, and the next day here I am. Strange how the mind works! Everytime I went to post in the past few weeks I came up with nada. I felt I owed it to my readers (as few as you are...) to write something, anything... I honestly thought that yesterday's post may have been my last.

So, what am I doing here? I am not really sure- I just have lots of thoughts floating around and felt the need to come back. So here I am!

I have a new obsession- moving. 5 years ago FJ and I moved into our little house in the city knowing full well that it wasn't forever. It was a compromise of sorts since FJ was desperate to live the city life (still able to walk to restaurants, bars, shops, etc) and I was ready to live in a neighborhood with neighbors to create relationships with. We moved to what is still considered the city of Richmond but with a small neighborhood feel. When we bought the house- we bought a fixed loan knowing we would move in 5-7 years. Thank God I had the sense to insist we get a 7 year arm instead of a 5 "in case the market wasn't in shape in 5 years". So here we are 5 years later in a crap market ready to sell. Our good friend is our realtor and he insists that the market hasn't collapsed for the first time home buyer (our home will likely be bought by a first timer) and that the most effected are the middle of the road sellers. If he is right this will benefit us greatly. Our house will sell and we will have our pick of the middle. So the other day my friend came over with her brand new baby and we got to talking about her new neighborhood. They play bunco, have a book club, couples wine tastings, men's poker, etc. This is exactly what I am hoping for in our next neighborhood. When she described the 2-3 acre lots, 25 year old homes, mature trees/ vegetation all around, my interest was sparked. When FJ got home from work we were off to stalk this neighborhood. We are in love! There is one house for sale and low and behold it is in our price range! So now I am getting way too excited to buy a house I have never even stepped foot inside! I have called our friend the realtor and asked him to come take a look at our home so we can get started on preparing for putting it up for sale. If this actually worked out- I would be elated! Can you believe that I have already been planning an addition to the house (the master suite is on the first floor but is the smallest bedroom- I'd like to make the largest room the master by adding a bathroom!). Anyhow- that's my latest secret fantasy!

I now have 3 weeks left of maternity leave. 3 weeks- ughhh... I DO NOT want to go back. I have no choice so that's not the predicament. The predicament is how to make it work in the future. It is so strange to feel this way because I have ALWAYS said that I could not be a stay at home mom. Even when T was born I said this. It isn't until she turned 3 months old that I have decided that it is what I want to do. The problem is getting FJ on board. I think that we could make it work when put in the situation. I would be willing to get a part time job but the question is what? Anyone have any ideas? I would love to be able to work from home- being a teacher doesn't allow it- but there has to be something. If you can help me out- let me know.

I just don't know how I am going to drop T off at the babysitter Nov. 17. I think I may go over there between now and then and ask some questions to ease my mind. The sitter keeps several kids and actually has 2 other adults working for her so I get that there is adequate supervision. But my question is- how in the world is T going to get the attention she is used to from me? How is she going to have time to roll over and play on the floor with all those kids running around? How will she survive without ME? I know- people have left their babies for years and years but I am just beginning to feel panicky about it. What other questions should I ask (and no, I won't ask how she will survive without me...). Also- I am not sure how much milk I should leave her for a day? I nurse her during the day so don't have a clue what is appropriate for a 13-14 pounds 5 month old.

So now for the T update-
Oh gosh she is just the best. Currently she is laying in her boppy- paci in place- in orange and white polka dot pjs. She has started grabbing the paci and pulling it out of her mouth and then trying to replace it. She can't quite do it and it is so cute to see her poke herself in the nose, eye, forehead etc in an effort to get it back in the mouth. Eventually she gets frustrated and yells at it (yes, it is obvious that the yell is directed at the paci). She likes the philips avent silicone pacifiers and soothies but I just realized that they are 0-3 months. Why? Why do pacifiers have age limits??? Anyhow- T has started chapping on her cheeks with the philips avent silicone ones. Anyone else experienced this? We have always said that T will only use a pacifier until she is 5 months but now that she is 4 months- I am thinking that we should start to wean her. Any thoughts?

T has only gained about a pound and a half in the past 2 months. Is this normal? She goes Tuesday to the pediatrician so I can ask her- but was wondering what you guys think. She was 6 pounds, 11 ounces at birth, 9 pounds at one month, and 11 7 at 2 months. When I weigh her with me (diaper and clothing on)- she only weighs 13 pounds. I am just a worry-wart!

Okay- enough for now. So much for not updating! I just wrote a marathon post! Thanks for your thoughts in advance...