I don't mean to gripe but... I went out to dinner with one of my closest friends. She has never wanted kids and I think it is because she thinks it will be hard to conceive (she is PCOS) and can't take the emotional pain. Anyway, she has never once said she wants a family. So tonight we were talking about Christmas and I was saying that it is so weird to be at this point in my pregnancy and be spending time with my SIL who has been ttc for quite a while. I was saying how I know how it feels to be surrounded by pregnant people and how I didn't want to cause any hurt being pregnant. I feel like I am extra cautious around people who are trying to conceive and maybe overly so, but I know the hurt all too well. Well, my friend started defending the situation saying that she is sure my SIL is not saddened by my happiness and I was trying to explain to her that I had been saddened so many times and I made the comment that you really don't know how it feels unless you've been there. She started relating the situation of an IFer wanting a baby to things she has wanted in her life that she hasn't been able to have (new job, house sold, etc, etc). I just wanted to blow up! How could she relate wanting a baby to those materialistic things. Anyway, I realize she doesn't know what she's talking about but I wish she would admit that instead of trying to relate and trivialize the pain IFers feel.
The word is out. I am pregnant. I have begun to tell people without the whole, "don't tell anyone" side note. Word is beginning to spread and it is another strange feeling. I am trying to keep level headed but the attention I am getting feels wrong for some reason. Almost like I am moving to the "other side" of womanhood- to know how it feels to enjoy pregnancy.
We have officially booked our trip to NYC. We will get their Thursday and go see Rent on Broadway. I have also purchased tickets to take FJ to tour Yankee stadium. He will be thrilled. I haven't finished my Christmas shopping yet but hope to this weekend. What a crazy time of year!
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4 comments:
I know what you mean about feeling wrong. I feel uneasy and nervous when the word is getting out. I put hte word out - so i am to blame. But I just feel like a fraud at times. I am envious of the NYC, Rent, Yankee Stadium Trip! Can't wait for your appointment on Monday - saying prayers for us
I'd gripe about that too. People just don't get it unless they've been here. No matter how much they think they do, they don't.
Have fun in NYC!
Have a wonderful time in NY,and I hope the city is free of insensitive comments and remarks!!!
I will be in NYC Wednesday through Sunday! I hope I don't freeze my bootie off (although if part of it falls off, I would be happy because it is looking rather large lately). :-)
Sorry about your friend's stupid comment. Sometimes people are just clueless.
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