I went to my SIL's bridal shower yesterday. It has been a long time since I have been to one since many of my friends are married and have kids. I have avoided baby showers for the past year or so- I was a bit excited to go to this shower. When I got there there was the usual introductions and silly games and then the infamous gift opening ceremony. I had completely forgotten about the ritual where for every ribbon the bride breaks is the amount of children they will have. Uggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just wanted to scream.
I am pretty sure I broke several ribbons at my bridal showers and here I am kid-less. Not only that but the constant, "R wants grandkids!" coming from the guests made me feel inadequate like I can't give her grandkids. Then when my SIL opened my gift she commented on the bag and we had a brief exchange about how many wedding bags I used to have and I am out and blah blah blah. SIL (I guess accidentally) said that I must now be moving onto baby bags. WTF- I don't have kids- why would I have baby bags- to torture myself? It was all weird.
Finally the shower was over and my mom and I could go home. This lady came up to me (whom I had NEVER met or been introduced to) and she gave me a hug. She whispered in my ear, "I pray for you every night. I went through infertility for years and years and I have beautiful children. You will too." Of course I burst into tears causing a scene and confusion for the people immediately around me and my mom escorted me out. On one hand, I can't believe that she had the nerve to bring this up. On the other hand, I now realize that my MIL has admitted to her friends that this IS an issue (she never talks to me about it). It was just very strange.
Last night when I returned from NOVA, my bf came over and we had several glasses of wine. She is just starting to ttc and I know she will immediately. I have to come to terms with it because I just know she will be announcing her pregnancy before me and I have to be okay with it. That's all for now...
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7 comments:
WHAT is wrong with people these days - there is a time and PLACE LADY!!!! THat is why we just need a secret handshake - no words- just a simple recognized token of acknowlegment. THen would people be less stupid?? I dunno , i can only hope. I am so srry you hav to go through this
I have never played that game. I think it should be BANNED.
Very strange of that woman to come up to you then and there to talk about this very personal struggle. It was sort of sweet of her to say that but it was DEFINITELY not the place or time. So sorry you had to be embarassed like that. I just want to give you a hug right now.
(((HUGS)))
Those baby showers are brutal! Here's hoping that you are miles away from attending another one (unless it is your own of course).
*Thank you for the comment!
UGH! I am glad you enjoyed some wine afterwards. I hate IF!
Yes I agree, definitely not the place nor time. But they were very sweet words, nonetheless. Its nice to have a hug from a complete stranger now and then, wishing you luck. :)
Grrrr! Nice sentiment, but lousy timing!!
That is so strange that a woman you don't know would just come up and say that. There are people that I know of who have gone through IF and I wouldn't just bring it up. I'm sorry you had to go through that. And I wish you luck with your bf and her TTC. It can be really tough.
My bf is currently pregnant and she got pregnant twice (had one miscarriage) before I was even able to get pregnant. I love her to death and our relationship hasn't suffered because of it, but it can be really difficult.
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