Saturday, August 18, 2007
My secret handshake
2 years ago when FJ and I agreed to start "trying" I told most of my friends about our quest for a baby to get them off my back about, "when we were going to have kids". Now, I feel like every time I phone a friend I haven't spoken to in a while, she is on the other end thinking- I bet M is pregnant. I hate this feeling. I have created a 'secret handshake' that for sure lets everyone know that I am NOT pregnant and they better NOT ask. That is, I drink a beer. Now you are thinking, "Does this chick have a problem?" The answer is no! I seriously just think this is the easiest way to answer the question that is on everyone's minds. I have a friend, D, that is also going through IF. She is really good about not using this 'secret handshake' and just not drinking when the possibility is there that she is pregnant. So a few months ago when she and I were talking about my 's.h.', she told me how silly it was to do this and if I don't want to drink during the 2ww, I shouldn't regardless of what people think. So I decided that I would stop and mention to people (in words not drinks) that I wasn't pregnant if I felt like people were checking out my ever growing mid section (does anyone else have a problem managing their weight while ttc????) So tonight D and her husband and I went out. I was really hoping D was pregnant since I hadn't seen her have a drink in a few months. When I showed up at dinner, she unfortunately was drinking. I chose not to drink and now I am feeling guilty because I bet she thinks I am pregnant. This is all so stupid but I for some reason feel bad for not having a, "shit your not pregnant and neither am I" beer with her. Why does everything always make me feel bad?
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5 comments:
Isn't it awful?, the watching to see who could or could not be pregnant, and even more awful that we need to do this to protect ourselves from shock announcements. It is a lot of the reason that I haven't ben open with people about our IF. I couldn't stand others looking at my life and making judgements of the ' is she or isn't she' variety.
It is also hard to be going through this witha friend because, unless you're tremendously lucky, one of you will get there before the other one. This happened to me and has made the friendship a little awkward. Even more awkward now, in view of the latest miscarriage.
Also, thank you for visiting me and leaving a supportive comment. It means a lot.
Ugh, I hate that every time I call someone or email and say 'i have something to tell you', I have to pre-warn that I'm not pregnant cuz it's the first thing they think.
As for the weight, I haven't struggled with mine in 10 years, yet while TTC for the first year and a half, I could care less what I eat or when I work out. I'm finally getting the exercise back but I noticed lots of girls out here saying the same - that you just let go of everything cuz it's too hard.
Hang in there.
Because IF just sucks the ever loving wind out of your sails!! Fight back!! AS for the weight gain and TTC - yea. You are not alone on either situations!! Hang in there Sista
We will all go slowly insane from this crap, I swear. As for the how-to-manage-your-weight-while-TTC dilemma, I have no advice. Since starting this nightmare, I've steadily packed on the pounds which only serves to make me feel that much worse about myself. Lovely! :-)
Thank you for your comment, I really appreciated it! I have my fingers crossed that you show that pessimistic Magic 8 Ball who is boss.
I hate how IF makes it hard to even call people or have a drink. Such simple acts become these huge beacons and it sucks.
I have found it easiest to just bluntly say "I'm not pregnant" if things start to feel awkward. DH hates that I can't say something more positive like "someday soon" but I hate that bulls**t.
As for the weight gain, I'm there too, although my weight fluctuates 5lbs. every month anyway. I have just tried to avoid the scale lately.
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