How we met...

All of my so called symptoms have vanished. Poof- gone. I am no longer experiencing creamy cm or sore boobs or well anything. It sucks. Hope is out the window. I have one more week until doomsday. Or possibly earlier... I can't test until then but AF certainly will wear out her welcome by dropping in a few days earlier than that. The question is, where will she appear? No matter how I prepare myself, I will be crushed. To have paid about $2000 for this cycle out of pocket, take off hours and days from work, and to put my body through pills, shots, internal temping etc, surely this will be the most crushing visit yet. If she appears at school- that'll suck- no where to hide. If she appears in Williamsburg while at my teaching conference Tuesday or Wednesday- that'll suck- I am sharing a room with a very fertile woman. If she appears anywhere, I will be deeply deeply crushed.

Today I am having a pampered chef party. I have about 10 friends coming. One of whom is my bff who just recently told me she is pregnant. She is about 11 weeks now and I am not sure if it is for public knowledge or not. I dread her telling others in my presence. How selfish am I? I just have already expressed my "happiness" to her and now I fear others checking out my reaction. I am one of those people who wears my "heart on my sleeve". It is so obvious by my facial expressions and change in tone that I am uncomfortable or sad or whatever. No matter how I try to fake it, its obvious and I don't want it to be awkward for her or me. I love her like a sister and want desperately to be happy for her but want even more desperately to be with her in this.

R&R asked me to describe how FJ and I met (in hopes of keeping my mind off of the 2ww) so here goes...
FJ and I taught at the same school about 7 years ago. People knew I was single (one of the few single teachers in my school at the time) so they were telling me to keep my eye out for the "cute new science teacher". When I met him, I thought he was cute, but noticed he had latched onto a bunch of new teachers (I had been teaching for 3 years at this point) and I didn't think I could handle trying to get "in" with him while keeping a professional relationship. We had absolutely no reason to cross each other's paths so soon I forgot about him.
I knew that FJ was a runner (I don't remember how I knew this but I did) and I was training for my first marathon. So whenever I ran into him, we would talk about running. He was mucho impressed with my running dedication and asked lots of questions. Still, I just thought he was a nice guy and would never be interested in a colleague. That winter he cornered me when we were going out for bus duty. He said, "Can I talk to you after duty?" I pathetically and egotistically thought he was going to ask me out. I said, "sure" but was thinking, "shit- I don't want to date him- he's a colleague, I will have to say no." Ha! When we talked that afternoon he asked me if I wanted to coach track with him. I felt like such a heal. I remember going out to dinner with my friends last night and telling them how stupid I felt.
So track season began and we were coaching side by side becoming good friends. We went running together every day after practice and then would go out to a bar and drink beer and smoke cigarrettes. We were such the cliche and we thrived on it! Finally after a few weeks of "friends" we hooked up. Both of our groups of friends were thrilled that we were finally admitting our feelings for one another.
So we dated for about 2 years and then FJ found out that his national guard unit was being deployed to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. He would be gone a year with limited communication with home. With the stress of that upon us, we broke up. It was the longest and hardest 6 weeks of my life. I knew I would never get on with my life. Finally, he realized it too and we got back together, only to have him leave 3 days later for a year. It was the best thing that ever happened to us. Although we got back together on a whim and didn't know how we'd do apart, we became closer than ever through love letters.
When FJ returned in November of 2003, we knew we'd be together forever. We got engaged in December of that year and married 7 months later and the rest is history. We have been through more than the average couple and have stuck it through. I love him more than anything in the world!!!!
Sorry that was so long and probably very random, but it felt good to rekindle those memories. Thanks r&r for asking. What else do you guys want to know??? :)